(Note : in order to protect the privacy of personal data has been amended )
I am 35 years old and a native of Austria. I spent my childhood in a small town , but then , due to my father’s business opportunities we often moved . I was educated in Vienna and the United States. I’ve always been very successful. I am employed in a multinational company . As a young , promising manager in search of challenge I took a place in Slovenia , where our company had opened a branch .
Arrival in Slovenia was a culture shock for me . I did not know how the language. I had no friends. In the firm we spoke English , Idid not understand the others. My partner and I first went to see the sights, but we soon exhausted them. I bit into my work . I returned home late. She remained alone all day . I felt that my life was increasingly empty . My demanding work exhausted me . I do not know what was causing me more stress – the demands of my bosses and objective conditions , or my own ambition and cruelty to myself . ..
Our relationship was increasingly empty. We had no friends . We almost never went out . I was nervous. My partner Eva unhappy and fed up . Because of all this I was buried myself even deeper into my work. Eventually Eva left me and returned home.
I stayed in Slovenia. Moved higher in the ranks. My bosses were very satisfied . I was more and more miserable . I had the feeling that life was passing me by . Health problems started to arise – insomnia and increased anxiety . I would wake up tired and could hardly get anything done. At social occasions, I began to experience a lot of distress and intense feelings of inferiority. My friends at home got married and started families. But I remained alone in my spacious apartment …
On the outside I had a dream life, but on the inside I was a wreck.
I realised that this could not go on and seeked help.
For a few months now I have been coming to sessions every week. I understand myself better and better. I have learned to recognize my desires, to discover myself. I feel that I am just now discovering who I am … as if only now have I started to come in contact with the various pieces of my personality. I realize that I have a playful , happy , rollicking side. For now it is difficult for me to allow it out but I’m learning , and I’m happy when I feel it. I’m learning to recognize and take in account my needs. I’m beginning to distinguish between different “voices” in my head. I recognize which are the heritage of my father, and I’m beginning to question what my reality is.
Slowly , slowly I’m beginning to give myself permission to be me and not simply a reflection of what I should be .
At Tjaša’s incentive, I have started to learn the Slovene language and rejoice in my progress. For me, it was a big step to begin to use the language though I’m not fluent and make mistakes. It helps me develop giving myself permission to experiment and to be lenient to myself in other areas also.
Slowly I have started to get out more .I still have a lot to do here but I’m glad to see that I can relax in society more often.
I am glad that I have chosen to seek help. Since I started going to Tjaša for sessions I feel that I live more fully. The sessions motivate me and give me a greater insight into my personality. Finally, I’m learning to live a life that is truly mine.